About The Lonely Chapter
Hi, I'm the guy who thought he was the only one struggling.
Turns out, I wasn't. Who knew?
Just a guy who's been in the weeds and lived to tell about it
I used to think everyone else had figured out this whole "being a man" thing while I was over here googling "how to make friends as an adult" and wondering if it's normal to feel completely lost most of the time. Spoiler alert: it is normal. Really normal.
My Story (The Unpolished Version)
I'm a twice-over step-father, which is basically like being the substitute teacher of parenting—except the class never ends and sometimes the kids have been through things that would break most adults. My step-kids have dealt with losing a parent, addiction in the family, and a whole host of other heavy stuff that no parenting book covers. You know those moments when you're supposed to have wise words but all you've got is "this sucks and I'm sorry"? Yeah, I've had a lot of those.
I'm also a biological father, which came with its own special brand of panic. Suddenly I was responsible for keeping a tiny human alive while simultaneously questioning every life choice I'd ever made. Fun times.
But here's the thing—through all of this chaos, I kept thinking I was the only one drowning. Everyone else seemed to have their act together while I was over here feeling like I was making it up as I went along. (Plot twist: we're all making it up as we go along.)
The Friendship Thing (Or Lack Thereof)
Let's talk about making friends as an adult man. It's harder than assembling IKEA furniture without the instructions. Where do you even meet people? How do you move past talking about weather and sports? When do you know if someone actually likes you or if they're just being polite?
I've spent years feeling like I don't quite fit in anywhere. Too old for some crowds, too young for others. Too this, not enough that. Always slightly out of step with whatever everyone else seems to understand intuitively.
And don't even get me started on understanding myself. That's been a decades-long project with more plot twists than a soap opera.
Why I Started Writing Letters
Here's where it gets interesting. Through all this stumbling around, I started figuring some things out. Not everything—let's be clear, I'm still a work in progress. But I learned that struggle doesn't mean failure. I learned that feeling lost is actually pretty universal. And I learned that sometimes the most helpful thing someone can say is "me too."
So I started writing. Not because I'm an expert (I'm definitely not), but because I've been there. In the weeds. In the uncertainty. In those 3 AM moments when you're questioning everything.
But Why Letters? Why Not Just Another Blog?
Great question. Here's the thing—we're drowning in digital content. Notifications, emails, social media posts, articles, podcasts, videos. It's all noise after a while. But a letter? A letter is different.
Personal
You can hold it, read it when ready, keep it forever
Intentional
Written specifically for you, not lost in the noise
Shareable
Pass it along to someone who needs it
And here's the part that really gets me—you can pass a letter along. To a friend, a brother, a son. Try doing that with a podcast episode. (Well, you can, but it's not the same.)
What These Letters Actually Are
These aren't self-help guides. I'm not going to tell you how to fix your life in 5 easy steps. I don't have 5 easy steps. Most of life doesn't work that way.
These are letters from someone who gets it. Someone who's been in the lonely chapters and lived to tell about it.
Someone who's learned that the goal isn't to have it all figured out—it's to not feel so alone in the figuring-it-out process.
Each letter series follows you through a specific transition. Right now, that's new fatherhood (biological and step). But there are more coming—career transitions, relationship stuff, midlife whatever-this-is, you name it.
The Mission (If You Can Call It That)
Look, I'm not trying to save the world here. I'm just trying to remind guys that they're not alone in their struggles. That feeling lost doesn't make you weak. That asking for help doesn't make you less of a man.
And for the women reading this (because let's be honest, you're probably the ones buying these letters), I want you to know that sometimes the best thing you can do for the men in your life is give them permission to struggle without trying to fix them.
The Fine Print
Will these letters solve all your problems? Nope. Will they make you feel instantly better? Probably not. Will they remind you that you're not the only one going through this? That's the plan.
This isn't for everyone. Some people don't need this kind of thing, and that's fine. But if you're reading this and thinking "finally, someone who gets it," then maybe these letters are for you.
Or maybe they're for someone you love who's been having a rough time but won't admit it.
Either way, I'm glad you're here.
What's Next
I'm going to keep writing letters. Keep sharing what I've learned (and what I'm still figuring out). Keep trying to make this whole "being human" thing feel a little less lonely.
Because here's what I know for sure: we're all just doing our best with what we've got. Some days that's enough. Some days it's not. But we're all in this together, whether we admit it or not.
And sometimes, that's enough to change everything.